Melbourne DJ Moment #603 – Kayhat @ Fitzroy Beer Garden


People are clearly dancing and enjoying themselves. There’s around 70+ people out here. Group of people standing right next to the speaker on a Friday night in Fitzroy.

*Person from group comes over and asks me to turn the music down.

Me: “Er, maybe you can go talk somewhere away from the speaker? I can see how it might be kind of loud for you.”

Him: “But I know the manager…”

Me: “Okay, go tell the manager and I’ll turn it down. I have to play music for people who are dancing and having a good time, so maybe they should be being a bit less rambunctious, you think?”

Him: “That’s a bit passive aggressive, I’m just asking for you to turn it down a bit, I mean, c’mon.”

Me: “Thanks for your feedback, I really do appreciate what you have to say, but I have to satisfy the venue’s format and requirements.”

Him: “If you don’t turn it down, I’ll have to ask the manager to have it turned down. You get paid to do this, right?”

Me: “You go do that. I have to mix a track now, I’m sorry.”

*Guy freezes, looks at me, looks at people dancing, goes back and stands with his group, doesn’t go find manager.


See, it’s these kind of knobs who move into a cool place and then expect the environment to suit exactly what they want to do, then they go and tell people about they moved to Melbourne for the culture, DJs and live music.

It says to me something about our general white history and tells me colonialism is alive and well, except we’re now the natives being invaded (by people from where, exactly? Mars?). I wish we could scalp these people or jam a spear through their thigh, to be honest.

Oh and everyone else had fun, except one guy who got a bit too pissed and embarrassed himself in front of his hot girlfriend. I kinda felt for him.

Written by Kristian Hatton.

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